Preface

Dear King James,
Hey Up Mucka. Yur are the greatest King all around these parts. Seriously though, don't change, stay just as yer are. Here is the Bible you ordered, all translated into satire wi' some bits in proper Lancashire. Since you are so bloody magnificent, it can't possibly hold a candle to your awesomeness. Any rate, enjoy the book. And please don't kill us. We never wrote it, we’re just translators. If there's any mistakes its not our fault, its that bugger Satan. If yer gonna barbecue some poor begger, burn him, not us.